Sunday, October 12, 2008

Another last milestone!

So, being the fourth kid, you might think that Sophia's milestones wouldn't be that big of deal. Right? It is actually quite the contrary. Yes, I may do things I wouldn't had dreamed of doing with Aubrie. Some examples might include; letting her eat something off the floor, giving her candy before lunch, letting her drink soda, or letting her have a bottle at 18 months! However, the milestones are a completely different category. Because she is my last, and I know she is my last, every time she does something my mind tells me, "Rachel! This is the last time your going to have a child walk for the first time, or roll over for the first time, etc..."
Today was the end of a 18 month countdown to Church Nursery, something we have been anxiously keeping track of since Sophia was about 8 months old! Finally, no more walking in the halls after our little monkey. We finally have earned the right to drop her off into someone else's hands for two hours, while we peacefully enjoy two hours of church. Sounds great, huh? Well, I have to admit that while there were some great perks to that , a part of me was checking on her every 10 to 15 minutes to make sure all was well. I felt so empty handed. It was such a weird feeling to sit there in class, with nothing to occupy me but the lesson. I didn't have a distraction as an excuse for not hearing questions, and no reason to leave if I felt so inclined. I also realized how much socializing, and exercise (lol), I got accomplished in the halls. But, mainly, I just missed her! I also realized, as I was analyzying my sad (crazy) feelings of dropping her off (with the other kids, I was trying to sneak them in early) that I typically was pregnant, or had just had a newborn, when I put our other's in the nursery. ( Was that a long enough sentence?) So I was putting one in, knowing I had another or soon would have one, to be chasing. So I was enjoying the short reprieve! But today was it! No more future kiddos were coming into my life for me to chase! I then realized that today not only marked her milestone, but also permanently ended, yet, another season of my life. ( I guess I have my future grandchildren to chase one day, when I'm the most awesome grandma and watch my grand babies for my children as they are gone away on weekend get aways!) So call me weird or crazy for having a hard time today, but I did! My last is growing fast and I can't do anything about it, except try to enjoy every minute of her and all my other kids.

PS Can you tell my favorite conference talk was about making the most of today, instead of piling up a bunch of tomorrows!:)