Mean Girls!!!

I've never understood why girls are mean! Guys just get in a fight, and then they move on and forget about it 30 seconds later. Girls backbite, gossip, and group together always leaving someone out. Growing up, I tried removing myself from that Drama as much as possible. I always had a handful of really good friends, and the rest of my best friends were guys. That's pretty much how I lived my life, until I got married, of course. Guys were easy. I never had to worry about whether they were talking to the other guys behind my back when I left. I never had to worry that they were going to try to "one up" me in everything, and I never had to worry that they were going to like the same person I did, and get all offended and jealous if they liked me back! My girlfriends have pretty much been the same as me. I have had a few here and there that are awfully competitive, but besides that, I try to keep my distance from anything drama related. That's required me to pull out of some friendships, some groups of girls, and even some family relationships for awhile. But I have to say that though its not always easy, it'sdefinitely worth not surrounding yourself by the negative spirit that comes with it. Nothing is worth the withdrawal of the spirit. Especially being popular or liked. What does that really matter in the end? NOTHING!

Now, how do I successfully help my sweet daughter to understand all this? Poor Aubrie had the worst week this week. She was waking up ready for a fight, every morning. Of course, she has always been strong willed (a trait that will do her good when she is older), but as her Mother I could tell something was off. Then Thursday she comes home upset telling me how a girl in her new Math class is heckling her. This girl is friends with one of her best friends. She just moved in, and Aubrie said she has been mean to her from the beginning. I'm no fool here. It's so apparent that this girl feel threatened by Aubrie's friendship with the other girl, and so she is trying to bully and embarrass her. Now Aubrie feels hurt that her friend didn't stick up for her. Her other friends were supportive when they saw Aubrie's eyes full of tears as she came back from Math. Aubrie emailed her friend and asked why she didn't stick up for her.

Ben and I assured Aubrie that jealousy was involved, and that the rude remarks were further from the truth. We even practiced the next day how to respond to heckling. I threw out every type of hurtful thing and she had to respond with "So". She started to find it funny. I also had to go over the whole, "do you even care to be their friend. Of course not, so who cares what they think?"

Friday the protective Mom instinct in me came out, and I decided to make a stop at the school for lunch. I brought a dozen Paradise cookies for her and her friends, and bought her some fun erasers she had been wanting. When I got to the lunch room the two girls saw me, and the bully would not make eye contact with me once the other girl whispered to her who I was. The one that has been Aubrie's friend came up and made all nice to me and Aubrie, and tried to sit with us, but the bully was whispering and shaking her head to sit at the other end. Did I really need to go? I don't know! But it made Aubrie's day to feel special as she was passing out cookies to her friends, and the girls definitely got the message that her Mom knows whats going on and isn't happy about it! (Did I mention that I gave her the stink eye!?) Is that bad?! LOL Aubrie has had many of conflicts with friends, but no one bully's my kids around and gets away with it!